Priorities, Part 3: Wives
For our final part in this series, let’s look at priorities for the wife. I’m excited to write this so I can be sure to gut check myself. Ladies, we want to get this right. In a world with so many demands, it won’t happen on its own. We’ve got to be intentional in knowing our priorities as the wife.
If I had to narrow it down to three ways we can’t comprise in priorities for the wife, here we go:
- Your walk with God
- Loving your husband
- Take the task of child rearing seriously
Your Walk with God
When are hearts and minds are simultaneously focused and drawn into our walk with God, everything else will be better. How do we get there? Spend time with the Lord. Before you even leave your bedroom in the morning, be sure you’ve invited God into your day. If possible, get in the Word. Turn on a podcast that pushes you closer to the Lord as you get ready.
Of course, this can be difficult when you’re in a season with little ones, but just do what you can as you can.
We’ve got to draw God into the everyday, seemingly mundane parts of our life. When we encounter a problem, are overcome with good news, or even feel our hearts spill over when our children do something so adorable, bring Him into it. Thank Him. Cry out to Him. Mercilessly beg for guidance. You don’t need to wait until morning or mealtime prayer.
Make the King of the Universe your best friend. Your first confidant. Bounce your thoughts off of Him, then allow your mind to quiet (as we all know, you may not be able to make your home quiet) so you can hear Him speak back to you. Your time in the Word will bring things together so you will hear His voice. Find one of my favorite Bible studies here.
The beauty of this is that the more you do it, the more natural it will become. Just start. Even if it feels strange, just do it. Think about the time you’ve spent building relationship with your earthly best friend. Just do the same thing here, only this time you’re doing it with the Perfect Counselor and the One who holds everything together and knows the depths of your heart.
Loving your Husband
Ladies, your husband needs to know he is amazing in your eyes. I’ve heard it said that your husband will see himself in whatever way his wife sees him. That’s a lot of power in the hands of a wife. I do believe, however, that he will rise or fall accordingly.
Men want to be respected. That can be a tough order in a world where “girl power” is praised and masculinity is reviling. This idea that, “we don’t need a man…” is wrong. Personally, I feel quite special and totally taken care of in having an incredible, masculine man. It’s a gift. He does so much for us, and does an incredible job. I want him to know I not only see it, but appreciate it. He impresses me, especially when my heart is looking for the good.
How are you talking to him? Girl, lose the tone. Just lose it. You don’t like who you are when you’re doing it, and no one in the house wants to hear it anymore. It’s not even making a difference.
Are you letting him lead? Or are you questioning everything he does? If so, no wonder he isn’t being a good leader. Why would he try anymore?
Intimacy: I can tell you that good little Christian girls may have been brought up to be prim and proper in this arena, but now that you’re married, embrace it. Let it be fun. Just go all in without holding yourself back. He will love the fact that you are into it, ultimately making your connection that much stronger.
Are you showing your daughters how to love their husbands? Will your sons want to be sure to pick a wife like the one they saw growing up? How you love your husband will affect your family’s future generations.
Take the Task of Child Rearing Seriously
I am totally confused on something. Why do so many mothers seem to want to just get rid of their kids? I can understand some of it. Clearly they can produce mass chaos…often. It’s loud. Constant takes on a new definition. Where’d the me time go? Do you ever even go to the bathroom without interruption anymore?
However, it’s the best thing EVER! Those precious little children that God gave specifically to you are pure joy. Somehow even in the exhaustion and difficult moments, they’re just awesome.
I am the mom who cries at the birthdays, is somewhat sad on Mother’s Day, and doesn’t even want to calculate the year they will graduate. You see, to me these are just indicators of how fast this precious time is going by. I know that one day it will be gone. (Thank goodness for photos!) You will have time for your “me time” one day that is coming sooner than we realize. And I’m pretty sure we will wish we didn’t have time for it.
Why would we want to miss this? Sure a nap might be nice or even an afternoon off here and there. But ultimately, not only do we need to embrace this time, we need to take it seriously.
Who is doing the primary parenting for your children? Is it you and your husband? Is it the church? How about the school and coaches? This math doesn’t make sense: We send our kids to school for numerous hours each day, longer with after school or before school activities, numerous days a week. Then we only get them for a short time period, comparatively speaking. Not only that, we get them after they’re way over done and over tired and just need to recoup.
Not only are our hearts missing out on that, the training is way out of whack. The ratio just doesn’t say you’re taking parenting seriously.
My blunt question is, why aren’t you? Are you chasing your career? Think homeschooling is just for the socially awkward? Believe it’s fine because it was when you were a kid? Don’t think you are equipped enough to be responsible for their education?
Those are all lies. Your career can either wait, you need to adjust your schedule, or find a way to work from home. Homeschooling isn’t meant to include you sitting at a teacher’s desk 8 hours a day. To me, socially awkward is having your kids look like the pagan world that society is quickly coming to. Are you trying to please man or God anyway? Back to the pagan world…IT’S NOT THE SAME AS IT WAS FOUR YEARS AGO, LET ALONE WHEN YOU WERE A KID! You don’t have to look very hard to see that. Finally, with all the tools and resources, you my fellow mama, can do this. And God will help you. Not to mention, you get to be with your kids. I very much doubt that any homeschooling mother ever looked backed and wished she didn’t have that time with her children.
You’ve got one shot at their childhood. Make it count, and take it seriously!
Read this blog for more homemaking thoughts
Back to Priorities as the Wife
It can be easy to look at wife and motherhood as a chore and fall into a poor me attitude. However, we need to change that to seeing the absolute beauty and honor of it all. A way to pour our hearts and souls into those we love the most. Even on the rough days, we can view it through the eyes of servanthood which brings us closer to our Creator.
Being sure our priorities as the wife are in focus is so important. When we’re getting it as close to right as we can, it feels so good. You feel so complete and as though you are fully living out your purpose. Let’s do better where we can, and start immediately.